DC orientation and change of gear

Just returned from a trip to DC for the NCI fellowship orientation. Sitting through the orientation sessions was not so fun, and the best parts were that I got to see Jessie's and Jade's families and got to play with two of Noah's best friends and their cute siblings.

It's funny how your body responds to stress. Throughout the four days my body was feeling funny. I couldn't sleep well. I constantly felt a little nauseous. My stomach twinged at times, not during the meetings, but when I started thinking about my studies and my potential projects. It's still just all too surreal that I am working at the National Cancer Institute. It's like that song Paul liked to play by Talking Heads: ".... and I was thinking: How did I get here?" How on earth did I get here? What the heck am "I" doing here? This thought makes me really nervous. All the good old self doubt has surfaced, not to mention the guilt of having to be away from the children and from Paul. Oh well, it's all good. I'll be a tough girl/mommy/wife. I can handle it--so I tell myself (with minimal confidence....)

A side note that may be amusing: Last night I had one of the most horrific flights, and unfortunately it was with my favorite airline, Jetblue. There was terrible turbulence all through Colorado, and the huge guy next to me was terrified. He must have a phobia. He just kept saying "Oh my God", and with every bump he'd grab my arm or leg. In between bumps, he sneezed wet sneezes into his hand. Finally, we left Colorado and the bad weather behind, and he made what seemed like heartfelt apologies. I thought I'd get some sleep, but then a mom with teenage kids behind me started saying really loudly "Wake up, we're almost there! We're almost in Oakland. Can you see anything out the window? ...." We weren't almost there - 3 states to go, and she kept me from sleeping for the whole time.