Little party for Noah

We had a fun little party for Noah's 4th birthday. Two of his classmates came, along with one of his teachers and family, and another friend. Though we only had one room to entertain in, everyone seemed to have had a good time. I baked some American style chewy cookies, and that was a big hit. Home baking is not something Taiwanese do, so they thought it was very special.

Mass in English

On Christmas eve, we went to mass at the main Catholic church in Hsinchu. Getting there right on time, we were surprised to see a sea of people already standing all the way out the door. It was the most crowded mass I have ever been to. Paul managed to get into the side chapel area where he and Noah could hear the mass through the speaker. Since I had to change Ben's diaper, we were left outside and there was no way of forcing ourselves into the church.

So you must be wondering: with such a tiny Catholic population in Taiwan, where on earth do all these Catholics come from? Well, guess what? 99% of them are foreign labors from the Philippines, and the majority of the masses here are in fact in English. I was interested in the experience of these hundreds and thousands of Filipinos, so I started chatting with them (a lot of them couldn't get into the 9:30 mass and are standing outside waiting to attend the 11am service).

I chatted with three young people, all of them work in a shipping factory in the science park here in Hsinchu. The man told me that he was a college teacher back home, but a teacher's salary is disproportionally lower than working in as factory work in Taiwan, so in order to support his family, he came over on a three-year contract. One 25-year-old woman revealed that she is married and has a 2.5-year-old daughter, and she left them four months ago to come and work in Taiwan, where she makes much better money and can send money home to help them.. By this point, both of us had teary eyes, and I know she probably won't see her little girl for another three years. I had to turn away as I didn't want her to upset her, so I took Ben for a walk while trying to collect myself. What makes a loving mother give up being with her child to live in a factory abroad? The financial burden must be so heavy to make this a worthwhile trade-off for them. And I know for a fact that this situation of families permanently separated is not unique; it happens in China, in US, and everywhere else where there is poverty and there are jobs.

These hundreds of people represent an almost invisible underclass, living in the factory dormitories and working 10 hours a day. Church becomes there main social center. I also talked to a young, beautiful Carmelite sister from Philippines, who ministers to the labors. She told me that she visit different factories throughout the week and meets with the workers on their off time. She goes at night when they have day shifts, and during the day when they have night shifts.

When asked if they are happy living in Taiwan, they looked quite ambivalent, but kept stressing that the money is good here. I know that my Chinese look doesn't help them trust me.

So it’s an interesting Xmas eve experience. I didn’t get to attend mass, but I got to learn about and talk to a group of interesting people. I must say it felt kind of weird afterwards when we went to the five-star hotel next door to check out their scrumptious buffet brunch.

Holiday festivities - dinner in Nanliao

On Christmas eve eve, we wanted to have a festive dinner. Paul's family has a tradition of brunch on Christmas eve, but that wouldn't work this year because of Noah's birthday party, so we decided to do something the day before.

We went to Hsinchu's port town, Nanliao, and after looking at the Taiwan strait and rolling on some little hills for a while, we went to the fish market. There you find many seafood vendors, with an amazing variety of fish and shellfish, and can take your purchase upstairs to one of many restaurants where they will cook your purchase up in a quick and simple Taiwanese fashion. We had the crab claws (2 kinds) and tiny clams stir-fried, and the whole fish steamed , as well as a local vegetable. The crab claws and whole fish were especially wonderful. In the future, we'll ask them to use less salt on the stir-fried dishes, and maybe to differentiate them a bit more - otherwise everything is with garlic, not-too-hot hot chili peppers, and green onion, which is tasty, but we'd rather maybe have one dish like that, and the others more simple.

It was not at all Christmas-y, but delicious, fun, and the source of good memories for years to come.

Terrible Two?

Benjamin has been quite a stubborn little fella lately, and I now wonder whether there's really something to this idea of a "Terrible Two". (I didn't believe it before, as Noah didn't seem to have any real terror phase at this age). Actually, Ben's kind of driving me crazy at times. I think back to our interactions ever since he's born, he seems to have won most of the battles. When he insists on something, such as a bottle of milk or a little car to bring along on the road, he usually gets his way. Don't mistaken us for being wimpy parents without principle: we try to stick to our rules, and we do often let him cry and throw a fit. But, somehow, at the end, he gets his way. I hope this is not a sign of a strong-minded difficult teen!

Last night, he woke up at 5am again demanding for neinei. I made up my mind not to give in, as he's been waking up at early morning hours just wanting a bottle, and we know he doesn't need it. After 20 minutes of complaining, I went in, and he started begging for neinei, looking all cute and miserable, I offered water, to which he vehemently refused with a loud and firm "didi bu yao!" (Younger brother does not want (it)!) He then proceeded to saying "mama gei neinei" (Mommy gets milk) Anyway, after close to 45 minutes of whining and crying, I gave in... Paul and I both needed a little more sleep after all. When I did give him a bottle, he said, looking all sweet, "xiexie mama" (thank you mama!) I can't believe it! He does the same tricks at school with his teacher.

Ben can be so sweet and so devilish within seconds! He can melt your heart with his smile and sweet words, and one minute later he tests your patience and temperament with such nasty attitude! Some days I figure, it's not worth the fight. We should just let him be him and simply teach him right from wrong as he grows. But on other days, I feel that the more he is stubborn, the more I should not cave in. He needs to know who the boss is--and it's not him!

Any advice or suggestions or similar parenting experience? HELP!

Silence is not golden in my classroom

The semester is almost over, and I have failed to make the permanently silent students open their "golden mouths". Oh well, I think I did better in one class than the other. In the Language and Gender class made up of English majors, the class is much more interactive and students seem to enjoy it (despite a few sleepers here and there). In the Advanced Reading and Discussion class, maybe 75% do the reading, and only about 15% do the discussion.

You know what this makes me want to do? Teach again next semester!! I love teaching, and really want to try again, having learned a few things about Taiwanese students and the university climate. If I ever have a chance, I think I would really enjoy the role of a teacher in Taiwan. I consider this little bit of teaching rather entertaining as I get to know the young people, what their life is like and what they talk/think about. A few things I have learned:

• The barrier to speaking up or even doing any critical thinking is very real and severe for most, and it's impossible to force them to participate. I need to go step by step, and remember that these quiet kids have never done any public speaking.
• Make classroom rules clear and stick to them strictly. Tardiness, absence, eating in class, etc. If you don't want those behaviors, make it clear upfront and they'll respect you, though you may get a reputation as a scary person.
• It's okay to make students run errands for you, unlike in the US. So feel free to let them help with the course. Spare yourself the busy work and focus on the substance of teaching.
• If I encourage participation, I sometimes run the risk of favoring city/rich kids over rural/poor kids. The former are usually more comfortable with interpersonal interactions, and I should not judge the latter negatively because of their background.

So, in spite of my many tasks and obligations, I have committed to one course next semester. I want to experiment with some new ways of teaching and see if I can do better. It's really a fun activity for me actually :)

阿里山 Trip to Alishan

This much-anticipated trip to Alishan was quite memorable, in many ways: great company (our CA friends Angela and Corey and kids), down-home living in the mountains, excellent oolong and mountain veggies, amazing sunrise and mountain scenary, hours of historic railroad adventures, and, finally, a jolt of winter cold which reminded us of home in DC.

We stayed at a "home stay" (like a B&B but much simpler and cheaper) and joined their three-day tour package led by the son of the owners. It was incredibly inexpensive; the place was clean, the air was so fresh, our guide/driver a great personality, and his parents were hospitable. The only thing we didn't like was the long car rides on bumpy mountain roads (let's not talk about it... not a good feeling). I would definitely do a trip like this, where you get to see how rural people live, and enjoy the wonders of nature at a fraction of the cost of big hotels.

On Monday we got up at 3:30 to prepare for sunrise viewing at the Zhushan summit. I was not too thrilled about the idea of getting up with little kids at this hour, at a temperature just above freezing, but I knew it was an experience to be had (who goes all the way to Alishan and doesn't welcome personally the sunrise?) It was well worth it when we saw the "sea of clouds" and the 360-degrees of mountains, really amazing view. I was very moved when we witnessed the sun creeping up from behind Mount Jade (3925 meters above sea level, Taiwan's highest peak). You feel the warmth it brings immediately, and realize what a marvel it is that we have the sun to rely upon every day of our lives. You experience the sharp contrast of the coldness of dark and the warmth of light. Noah and Ben were both pretty miserable throughout the early morning hours, but they got better after some breakfast. Please see more of our pictures and descriptions at: http://homepage.mac.com/paulportner/PhotoAlbum25.html

Xmas Parties

Dutiful parents, we attended two Christmas parties at our kids schools this weekend.

Ben's was better organized and the attendees were much better dressed. You could tell that Ben's school is more expensive than Noah's. We're not sure whether the families are richer (Ben's is attended mostly by kids of Science Park parents while Noah's is within the Industrial Technology Research Institute next to Tsinghua), or just that they are freer with money. The party at Noah's kindergarten was crowded, and the foot kind of hard to get to. They had little games or crafts in all of the classrooms, which was fun in principle, but most were too difficult for the threes and unders. Ben's party was well organized, and though it was called a potluck, most parents took advantage of the opportunity to order their "potluck" food through the school. We did cook and bring a pasta dish, though, and I'm sure our kitchen is the worst of all the school's families! Then there were performances by all of the older classes; we stayed for a few, then headed home to get ready for our trip to Ali Shan tomorrow.

You also see a picture of the vegetarian Hakka restaurant in Jhudong (near Hsinchu) where we ate lunch today. It was excellent and quite atmospheric. Noah was being quite a goof while I was taking pictures, unfortunately.

Laugh attack

While watching the "Here comes a bus" video, kids had a laugh attack.

Answer:

Let me give the correct answer.

We went for the third option, the one with price in the middle. We couldn't see ourselves going for the ultra-expensive place, and were a bit put off by their attitude. It would have been less cheesy and gaudy for sure though. And we would have been in the same hotel with numerous Nobel Laureates, as it turned out that the Academica Sinica was hosting an international conference and 70th birthday celebration for its former director, Dr. Lee (a Nobel Laureate). This event was highly controversial as they supposedly spent 500 million NT for this event! Not that these chemists from around the world would have enjoyed the spa and pools as much as we would have.

Impromptu trip to Yilan

We decided to go for an overnight trip to Yilan, the northeastern county on the Pacific. We figure hotels are discounted on weekdays, plus we'll have a little more peace and quiet in the hotsprings, beaches, and other tourist sites.

We had originally planned on staying at a B&B in the mountains rather than in Jiao-xi, the hotpring resort. But by the time we arrived in the Yilan are, it was rainy and gloomy that we didn't think continuing on to the mountains would be wise. Plus we have done our share of hiking in the rain and dark. So we stopped in Jiao-xi to look for a hotspring hotel to spend the rest of Sunday.

Now, since pictures later will speak for themselves, I am going to divert a bit and test your concept of $ on vacation. Which option would you have chosen?

A bit of background: The original inn in the mountains would have costed NT2800 a night (roughly $90) for the four of us. It would have been simple place in a beautiful rural setting. In Jiao-xi, all the hotels have natural hotsprings piped up from the earth and even though the surrounding environment is quite ugly due to over-building, the amenities are supposedly nice. Prices vary greatly from place to place, so do the level of comfort and size of the spas an dpools.

The first place we stopped in quoted us $3900 a night after some bargaining. This would have been a tatami-style room for four, with a large four-person marble tub. However, the public baths are nude only and understandably single-sex, so it's not ideal for us with two kids if we want to venture out of our big room.

We then, out of curiosity, followed the sign for "Hotel Royal Jiao-xi", up the hills, away from the town. We found this beautiful and minimalist hotel, obviously five-star, and though the parking attendants snobbed us badly (telling us rooms start at $9000 and we were not allowed to stop at the front; rather, we had to go park underground), we decided to check it out. They quoted me $13000 a night for four, with view of the valley and a giant public hotspring with children's play area and many pools of different sizes, temperatures, fragrances, spa functions for all of your body, etc.. The pictures surely looked stunning, and so was the price!

The third place we checked, back in downtown Jiaoxi, quoted us $6100 a night for four, with public baths and children's play area, and completely luxurious-to-the-point-of-gaudy rooms. Some amenities include: marble tub with television set in bathroom, golden and purple decor, "atmospheric" lighting, and, get this: fresh rose petals in the toilet!

I am not going to give out our choice right away, though if you click on the pictures from the trip, you will find out. Please visit our albums at:

http://homepage.mac.com/paulportner/PhotoAlbum24.html

I am interested in hearing what your choice would have been. By the way, all these options include four buffet breakfasts (looks like dinner buffet from American standard, with hot dishes and salads and all).

All in all, Jiao-xi is fun but the poor hotsprings totally exploited. We enjoyed the beaches-- full of fun creatures-- and the Wufengqi Waterfalls. My favorite was the ice cream burrito with freshly shaved peanut brittle and cilantro.

Differences in vocabulary items at 22 months

Noah and Ben are both very verbal kids, but at 22 months, they have quite a different set of vocabulary items, for obvious reasons.

Here are some words 22-month-old Noah--an Arlington kid-- knew that Ben hasn't even heard of: schoolbus, helicopter, Percey, Toby (and the rest of Thomas characters), caboose, mittens, raindeer, snowman.

Here are some words 22-month-old Benjamin--a Taiwanese kid--knows that Noah had no clue of: mosquito bite, didi ye yao (younger brother also wants!), gege gei didi (older brother give younger brother), lizard, motorcycle, Xiaodingdong (Japanese animation character Doraemon), Hello Kitty, highspeed train.

Do these lists give us a sense of their life, both in terms of where they live and their birth order? Ben definitely has to fight for his rights at a much younger age. Is that universal of number 2s?

ps. We just returned from Yilan, where we enjoyed hotsprings, waterfalls, seafood, and a play on the rocky cliffs by the Pacific. Pictures will be uploaded and stories shared soon. For now, we have tons of laundry and cleaning up to do. Stay tuned...

An "American" experience

After a short hike at dusk--by the way, now that we have hiked in rain and in the dark, I think our boys are on their way to conquer some big mountains later--we went to explore Zhubei, the major "suburb" of Hsinchu. It's kind of like, uhm, Rockville as opposed to DC, Foster City as opposed to San Mateo, Germantown as opposed to Memphis. What I mean is, it's got new money pouring in, mostly from the nearby Science Park, with many big luxury condos, smooth and wide streets, chain stores and restaurants of all kinds (with adjacent parking lots!) Everything looks newer and richer, and as a result less personal and has more of a corporate feel.

This scene should be quite familiar to us, but after being in Hsinchu with its cramped streets and frequenting mom-and-pop shops, this town feels a little foreign.

After a good and way-overpriced Thai meal, we decided to check out the "Taste Humanities Cafe". By the way, the term "ren-wen" ('humanities', 'humane', it doesn't quite translate) is added to restaurants and shops whenever they want to convey an image of nice-ness and sophistication. Some basic elements of such "ren-wen" places: plants, wood floor, bamboo shades, and on the menu, such words as lavender, cappucino, mint, Italy, organic, health.... are bound to be found.

This particular cafe is not very "ren-wen"; rather, it feels completely American to me: large and airy space, corporate atmosphere, eclectic menu, high price, and a great big children's play area in the yard!! It's quite packed with people: young people surfing the internet, families hanging out, friends chatting and reading magazines. Of course, Ben and Noah lost themselves in the play area. Customers have to go up to the counter to place their order. I was going to share a pot of soothing kumquat tea with Paul, but they informed me that only one cup goes with one pot. So I got a pomelo/tangerine tea for Paul, plus a belgian waffle topped with cream and fruits. I was surprised that for the first time, a 10% service charge was added, and for not much service at all. (In other places, I have been treated so well that I wished I could leave a tip, but tipping is just not practiced in Taiwan. So this self-ordering place with a service charge really took me by surprise.) The waiters looked very uninspired and a few even grumpy, unlike our overall experience with Taiwanese restaurant staff. This really feels like corporate culture to me, something we are quite familiar with.

Anyway, there's nothing wrong with the place. Food's decent, place is clean, Xmas decoration is bright and bountiful. I just know that since I am only in Taiwan for a short while, I won't have to come back again. What's interesting to me is how people flock to the place: I think it provides a more insulated environment away from traffic, problems with parking, crowdedness, all the negativities of city life. I can see the appeal from their perspective. Here I can also see why American life may seem so wonderful.

Getting sick from cold air or germs?

It's in the upper 70s today. I kept forgetting that it's almost Christmas! People say that this warmth is unusual for Taiwan at this time of year. We kept thinking we need to take another hiking or overnight trip to take advantage of this beautiful and dry weather, as you can't count of such pretty weather in the winter and spring times. And four months have almost passed, but we have yet to visit the east coast, the southern tip, an outlying island, Tainan, and much more!! I makes me feel like a spoiled brat to be rather 'stressed out' about trip planning like they are tasks at work! It is quite time-consuming trying to plan trips that are budget-conscious, child-friendly, and fun for the adults, but the planning itself is a pleasure to be enjoyed.

I have been thinking more about all these different child-raring practices and related health beliefs. Let's take this example: Ben's teacher was quite surprised and appalled when she hears that we would give him milk fresh out of the fridge. No parent would ever do that, especially when the child's got a little cold and it's supposed to be winter time (yah yah, it's still in the 60s but remember? Many are wearing down jackets and scarves). This level of sensitivity to cold even differs between (American) Paul and (Taiwanese)me: Paul doesn't think there's a direct correlation between being exposed to cold air and getting a cold. He blames it all on germs. As a result, he thinks I and most Taiwanese people don't take care of disinfecting well enough. For example, we would wash a ungreasy cup out without soup and in cold water. He thinks that leaves all the germs on it, etc.. I bet neither of us is by any means an extreme case.

Lately, one of Noah's teachers is terribly sick, but still comes to work and wears a mask. (By the way, at least 5 kids at a time wears a mask all day to keep their germs from spreading. At first I found it kind of odd, but now even Noah demands a mask. He said he has a runny nose and needs to be covered up!) Anyway, I am surprised and unhappy that this teacher still shows up even when she obviously looks too sick to function. She said that if she takes the day off, that would leave the other teacher with 26 kids to herself. I think if this teacher was in the US, rather than being respected for hardwork, devotion and thoughtfulness, she would be accused of spreading yucky germs around all day! Again, germs and bacterias...

These health beliefs are so deeply rooted and hard to change, and the funny thing is they are formed at such a young age. Yesterday, I went to Noah's class to make pizzas with them. We had a great time and the kids loved their own cooking. Twice during the cooking session, girls came over and told me that I would catch a cold wearing a sleeveless shirt. One quoted her mom and said I should wear more clothes. I was very amazed at their considerateness and promised to take care of myself so not to get sick :)

Oh boy, where's our car?

Yes, we paid a visit to the city impound lot tonight. All four of us. And it was an adventure we could happily live without.

The trick with parking in Hsinchu (or most of Taiwan) is you never know which parking violation would result in trouble. There are so many illegally parked cars everywhere, and you just don't know when or where you may actually get caught. We normally park in designated parking lots. Actually, this is the first time we decided to park on this street, as we see plenty of other cars comfortably parked there. Long and behold, first-timers always get in trouble! After shopping and dinner, we found that our car and neighboring cars disappeared from scene!

After a bit of panicking, we cabbed ourselves to the impound lot, paid our towing fee, received our citation, and went home with a toddler in, shall we say, an unpleasant diaper situation.

Oh well, we surely learned a lesson, an expensive one!

Number 3

Paul always comments that I love to talk about the dark side of my childhood: cruel teachers, sad classmates, strange personalities, and of course, the abundance of physical punishment in junior high. My theory was that talking may be a kind of healing, an opportunity to reframe my experience and add a sarcastic tone. I don't know if there's any healing that I personally need, but I do know that I enjoy talking about those bitter school experiences.

Today I had a chance to stroll through a bookstore for half an hour. I just love strolling Taiwanese bookstores. I bought a book by one of my favorite writers, Lung Yingtai, roughly translated as "Child, Take it Easy/Go Slowly". As soon as I began reading, I couldn't put it down. Her Preface moved me to tears, and reminded me of one of my childhood classmates.

Zhang, Number 3 in class, was a skinny little boy in our class for six years (we stay as a class of 55 kids from Grade 1 to 6). I recall a dirty kid with yellow snot permanently all over his face. Every day, during our lunch time, he never brought a lunch box. Instead he would walk out to the streets barefoot 'to have lunch at home'.

He lived near the local market. He had many siblings. The father, very old and looking ill, always in a dark, quite torn suit, repaired shoes for a living. The mother had epilepsy and never took care of them. I vaguely remember going with my mom to get shoes repaired and saw a baby girl sleeping on the cement floor. Rumors went that Zhang would steal vegetables and fruit from the vendors and some nice sellers would pretend they didn't see it. Some even gave him old fruit.

Girls often complained to the teacher that Zhang smelled. I even remember the teacher asking for donated clothes and made him change into them. He refused. The teacher would yell at him. I don't remember what happened in those encounters, but I remember nobody wanted to sit with him. They thought he stunk and had lice. I don't remember the teacher ever teaching us to be kind to him. I remember that the teacher took the complaints at face value and ordered him to take a bath soon.

These days when we have elementary school reunions, we never see Zhang or Yang (a girl with snots and lices in her hair) or other kids like them, and we don't talk about them either.

In Lung's preface, a girl in her 5th-grade class was frequently beaten up by the teacher for not paying cram-school fees and fordoing poorly in school. Her vivid descriptions brought my memory of those poor kids to life. In her case, the girl took her three younger siblings and they drowned themselves in Ai River in Kaohsiung. A tragic ending. I wonder where Zhang is and if life is better to him now.

December 4,2006

Here are some photos of our last few days:
The boys said goodbye to gonggong from the bathtub. (Please ignore the yucky bathroom.. We will be moving to a newly renovated room within a month! Stay tuned for "Before-and-After" shots!)

Recently, the soft mats for the floor were creatively transformed by Paul into little houses for Noah and Ben. It's a project only Paul can think of! Noah loves it!

A hike in the wind and rain in Yangmingshan. We took the car, the MRT/metro, the buses to get there and find ourselves in miserable rain, but we nevertheless did a .8km hike and enjoyed our(wet and cold)selves. We also learned a few do-s and don't-s when it comes to the use of transportation in rainy days.

Finally, to reward our wet and child-carrying effort, we stopped at the pottery town of Yingge on the way back, where Paul lost himself in ceremic vessels of all kinds. The kids actually found the playground nearby the most fun of all things in Yingge. See their rockclimbing efforts for proof. In Yingge, we also enjoyed a nice dinner. I had a dish of steamed cod with white wine sauce on papaya. The flavor of sweet papaya fused with creamy sauce was surprisingly wonderful. The best part of the restaurant is the use of pottery. It's the pottery capital of Taiwan after all!

What I encounter every day

This is a conversation I get every day when taking Ben out since I got to Taiwan:

Stranger: Hmm...eh? Is he mixed?
Sylvia: Yes.
Stranger: Ah-ha, that's why his hair is so light.
I thought he looked like a foreigner. Where is his father from?
Sylvia: America.
Stranger: So does he speak both English and Chinese?
Sylvia: Hm.. yeah, we talk to him in both languages.
Stranger: Oh, that's so great! Mixed kids are so cute (and so on and so forth...)

I am telling you, it's in this exact sequence every single time! And one day, I counted how many times this conversation took place, and the answer was 12!! I don't mind it at all, but it's just funny that people here always ask about race, whereas it would be considered quite blunt and rude to ask about it in the US.

Please stay tuned for a report of a great adventurous day we had today, including a hike in the rain in Yangmingshan, pottery town of Yingge, etc.

Family dinner

There's so much in the last few days that I want to share with you... Where shall we begin?

Well, my Language and Gender class had an interesting discussion. I should reframe by saying, like usual, this discussion only involved half of the class as there were a few permanently silent members.

We read an article entitled, "The 'Father know best' dynamic in dinnertime narratives". It's a study of dinnertime family conversations in middle-class American families. Through observing storytelling (who tells the story to whom, who evaluates and 'problematizes' the story and actions, who initiates the telling, etc.), the authors found that parents construct a family dynamic, where the father is framed as an authority figure who often has the final word on things. For example, in saying, "Johnny, why don't you tell Daddy what happened at the playground today?" the mother is setting the Dad up as the primary recipient of Johnny's story and contributing to the "Father Knows Best" dynamic.

So I thought we were going to focus on how gender identity is socialized through family discourse, and how children at a young age acquire gender roles through the way parents interact with them and with each other. As we began the discussion, I quickly discovered that the idea of a dinnertime narrative is totally foreign to the class; in fact, the idea of dinnertime being a time for social conversation is new to many. Furthermore, a few students said they rarely ever ate dinner together with their family even though they are all home. One student said if the kids try to talk, the Dad would tell them to keep their mouths shut while eating. Another said that only their mother tells long stories which they find boring. A handful said as soon as dinner is ready, TV is turned on and that becomes the focal point during the meal.

I then asked them to think in terms of children's socialization process, and whether the dinner time interaction (or the lack thereof) shapes the children's language, behavior, or thoughts. One student commented, "If these kids are told everyday to tell stories and get their tales scrutinized by parents, they probaby will learn to be good story-tellers when they grow up."

I am thinking, ah-ha! This partially explains many of the Taiwanese students' silence in class. It also shows me, like so many other observations in Taiwan have taught me, that it's much easier to explain people's behavior when you live amidst them. As a short-term visitor, I may observe and see things that seem odd or even flat-out wrong. As I interact with them more, I start to figure out the reasons behind their thinking. It doesn't mean I stop making judgement, but more understanding of background and motivation for people's behavior makes me a little more sympathetic to what seems unreasonable on the surface.

On the way back from (another excruciating!) yoga class, I walked by the dumpling restaurant on the narrow alley next to campus. The owner's two kids, aged 8 and 10, are sitting in there as usual. Actually one was stacking away chairs as it was close to 10pm. They seem to spend all of their after-school hours in the little shop, either doing homework, or doing nothing. I am serious, they do nothing and from what I observe (which is about a total of 10 times), they don't say much either. The mom is very stern and works a lot. The kids actually look very stern and solemn too. So, if I get this 10-year-old girl in my freshman English class in eight years, do I expect that she will contribute verbally?

Little school boy

Having bravely sailed through (with some minor disturbances) his first week of school, Ben is gracefully moving on to his second week at Cadalin. He's been crying when we drop him off, but his teacher says he calms down pretty soon, and is able to play independently, except for meal times, when he demands to be fed. At home, he whines when we are getting ready to leave the house, but he also talks in an assuring way about school: "mama jie ni" (mama picks you up).

I think his verbosity has been a huge help. The teacher comments that he talks about everything he sees and tries to communicate with all classmates. Whenever he learns a new word, he automatically evaluates it in terms of sizes and colors. So, "a big red bird", "little green car", all that.

We did find, perhaps just a coincidence to the start of school, that he's having a terrible time going to sleep. He cries loudly when we insist that he stays in bed, saying "didi qi lai" (younger brother gets up) or "did chuqu" (younger brother goes out), and taking turns in demanding all sorts of drinks, from soymilk, milk, juice, to water. It's really a problem at bedtime these days! I guess the world is just too exciting, and since he can talk about all the stuff, retreating to silence and rest is that much more difficult.

All in all, Ben's doing pretty well, and I feel good about the school being just half days for now.

We had a relatively quiet weekend in town, with a great hike on Saturday, a dumpling dinner in the evening, and on Sunday a wonderful Japanese lunch treated by a nuclear physics professor (I know... it's about time we start treating others...), and last night, we invited our next-door neighbor, a renown ancient Chinese historian from Beijing Univeristy, over for pasta and gazpacho. Paul and I both enjoyed our conversation with her. She impressed me with her scholarly mannerism and thoughtful comments; I just hope our loud and wild kids didn't intimidate her. Afterall, this poor historian has to live with not-so-occasional noises and screaming from this end of the hall!

Hike at Shitoushan

Some pictures from our hike at Shitoushan (Lion's Head Mountain), a major buddhist location in Taiwan. We went with Sylvia's friend Yalien, an enthusiastic hiker and yogini. The weather was gorgeous.

Note the wild pointsettia - It's the Christmas season now after all.

Thanksgiving

We didn't have a turkey, stuffing, or cranberry sauce. We haven't even had any fall. We ate at our downstairs cafeteria, but we brought a cake to celebrate the day with our friends there.

Paul's acupuncture treatment

I'd been having serious pain in my neck for several months, and so made two trips to a Chinese doctor in Taipei who was highly recommended by a family friend. The result was amazing; immediately upon getting acupuncture in my head the first time, the pain and stiffness went away. I also received some acupuncture in my back and arm, and a treatment whereby little cups are used to suction blood from my back. After a few weeks, the stiffness started coming back, so I went for a second treatment and again the needles in the head relaxed my neck immediately. The doctor says that I respond especially well to the treatment because I'm basically very healthy, with just a bit of "poor flow" in my left side. He also said caucasians typically respond more quickly than Chinese, because we're more open hearted. Perhaps this optimism is part of the treatment.

20 hours of Child-free Taipei time

Paul and I took advantage of my parents' generous offer to watch the kids and enjoyed the sstreets of Taipei by ourselves. Here's Paul's account of our 20 hours of freedom and fun:

We were without the kids for less than 24 hours, but it seemed like much longer (in a good way). When you’re traveling with kids, you get a full, rich experience, but it’s only one side of the place. Without kids, you get to see another side: you can poke into small stores and down alleys, you can afford to get a bit lost, you can eat a little bit now and some more later, whenever there’s something appealing. You can look up when crossing a street, not down to make sure they’re safe. Here’s some of what we did.

We were invited together with Sylvia’s parents by a friend of theirs to a wonderful vegetarian buffet lunch. (See photos.) Afterwards, they took the kids back to Longtan and we went to find our hotel. It was very nice, what was called a “Japanese style” room, but this just seems to mean that it has wooden floors and a minimalist decor. The first thing we did was nap on a nice big soft bed. The second was to survey the free supplies, always much better in Taiwan than the US. Slippers, personal grooming sets, sodas, toothbrushes (one in white and one in black, thoughtfully distinguished to avoid cross-contamination). Then we went out for the evening.

We decided to spend the day in the older western end of Taipei where I had never been before and where Sylvia had gone for shopping as a child. The overall scene is less luxurious and modern than newer areas, but in general more interesting. (Some of the newer areas are so devoted to international style and high-level luxury shopping that I am left dazed and bored. Like the non-news parts of the Sunday New York Times. It looks great, but it makes me feel that so much is being wasted, and I just can’t get much enjoyment from it.) The streets are smaller and less regular; there are interesting stylish shops amidst cheap bargain-basement type stores. Sylvia bought a good number of pieces. We have the advantage that we think it’s still very warm, and so all the summer clothes which are cheap because the Taiwanese consider them out of season feel like perfectly reasonable purchases to us. At about this point, we had a good southeast Asian dinner.

The most interesting part of this first part of the evening was the foot massage. Sylvia thought it would be relaxing and good for her somewhat beaten-up feet. What it actually was was serious foot torture. It’s not a massage for relaxation; it’s considered a kind of health treatment. They work every kink and smooth every muscle, HARD. I politely told my lady that it hurts (“You yidian tong”) a few times, but she just said that men don’t mind pain (“Nansheng bu pa tong”). I just had to endure 40 minutes of this. Afterwards, it felt good, but not good enough.

As we went farther from the main station, we reached small alleys with piles of goods for sale leaving only a small path between. The main goods were Chinese style clothes, women’s underwear, and shoes. I bought a cute little keychain watch in the shape of a pear. Since I often don’t wear a watch, it’s a great little thing to have. Eventually we made our Long Shan Temple, the biggest and liveliest I’ve seen. There were very many devout Buddhists praying, meditating, and burning incense; there was no service, just very many people doing their private devotions, as well as meditating or walking around alone or with family. It was how I understand a medieval cathedral to be. From there we proceeded to a nearby night market area where all of the stalls have a kind of Buddhist perspective, meaning no meat, lots of herbs, and statues, jewelry, etc. appropriate for religious people. I got a custom-made bead bracelet which Sylvia thinks is very cool, and which she bargained very effectively for.

Next we reached one of the most well-known night markets, definitely not Buddhist, Hua Xi Jie. This includes the infamous stalls where you’re supposed to drink the blood of a just-killed snake. We didn’t stay around to see this sight, but we did enjoy the rest of the scene, about 10 blocks of all kinds of interesting goods, from tea and teapots to toys to videos. But it’s the food that’s most interesting, as even Sylvia kept saying “I’ve never seen that before”, some kind of small juiced, baked, fried, or roasted product. After wandering around for quite a while, we made our way back home.

In the morning, we took a cab to the National Palace Museum. It’s under renovation, which means that a fair portion of it is closed, but the parts which are open are much more modern and attractive than the last time I was there. (Not that they were not nice before.) It’s quite a great museum, as everyone knows. We mostly looked at pottery and statues. (There was almost no painting or calligraphy on display; presumably it’s displayed in the parts which are being renovated now and will re-open in late December.) My favorite is Song pottery. Not only does it represent the origins of the styles which we see up to today, but it already represents the pinnacle of certain aspects of pottery, in particular celadon glazes. Some sites made incredibly cool and pure greens and blues, while others mastered the aesthetic of controlled randomness, for example in crackle and glazes which break into different colors. The main problem of the morning was the hordes of Japanese tour groups. They could simply take over a display area and so you have to be smart about observing where they’re going so you can slide in and view what you want to see. I think that a weekday visit or else late in the afternoon might be a better idea next time.

The most surprising and pleasant part was that we ran into our friends Michael and Irene from California. They spotted us amidst the bronzes and we chatted and took the bus and subway back into the city together. At that point, our time of freedom was coming to an end. We make our way to another family friend’s house, where we met up with the kids and Sylvia’s parents for another delicious meal.

Ben's first day of school!

After a very busy and fun weekend in Taipei, we returned to Hsinchu for a big milestone--Benjamin's first day of school! We had been telling him that while Gege (older brother) has his school, Ben will be going to HIS baby school. Don't know how much he understood, but he seemed intrigued by the idea.

This morning, Noah prepared his brother by sharing his personal experience. He told Ben not to be scared and offered his schoolbag for his brother's use. We put in it diapers, a bottle, change of clothes, and, most importantly, his beibei (blanket) along with a little truck that a friend recently gave him. He looked a little puzzled that we would put all the 'key elements' in his life all in the bag, but didn't seem to mind.

The drive was about 10 minutes. When we got there, he (with some hesitation) helped put his shoes in his cubbie, went upstairs with his teacher, and started playing immediately, pointing out, like he always does, all the animals big and small. I was surprised at his willingness to dive into the activities and letting me leave. We said goodbye and I left to come home to work. (Had Ben been my first kid, this would all be much more difficult.)

We plan to enroll him for half-day (approximately 8:30 to 12:30), figuring that his nap would buy us at least two more hours of work time, and then one of us can just relax and play with him until we go to pick up Noah. I went to pick him up at 12:15. He saw me outside the door but didn't come running; instead, he continued to play with his blocks, though his face showed a sign of relief. The teacher said he cried after I left, and a few times briefly, asking to "zhao mama" (look for mama). When he was upset, he demanded milk. During lunch, he would stop to ask for mama between each bite. Other than that, he was pretty happy.

While I was talking to the teachers, Ben started acting like a crazy little guy, jumping and shaking his heads, laughing. I think it's a kind of happy release of energy. It was pretty cute. On the way home, he told me he ate apple. I wasn't sure if that was true until I saw in his communication book that indeed they had apples along with rice noodles for lunch! What a useful and communicative guy. The whole afternoon he mentioned repeatedly his laoshi (teacher) and xiaopengyou (little friends). I think he was pretty proud of himself. At dinner table, the three of us gave him a round of applause, and Ben smiled in such a proud way :)

I know that tomorrow and Wednesday probably won't be as easy, and he'll realize that this school thing is perhaps happening more frequently than is to his liking. This is a tryout week, so we have a choice of continuing or stopping. I am inclined to stay since I like the environment and the staff so far. More updates to come...

Check out some recent photos

Including a great trip to Puli.. I will come back later and write about our travel in more detail.
For now, check out:
http://homepage.mac.com/paulportner/PhotoAlbum18.html

Humor and Culture

It's easier to see cultural differences in humor when your joke is not taken the way you expected. In other words, when someone makes a joke that you don't find funny, the cultural differences may not be as apparent as when you are the joke maker. I realized how my own sense of humor is rather Americanized.

When Ben and I arrived at Noah's school to pick him up, we found the entire class of twenty some 3/4 year-olds washing all of their wooden chairs: scrubbing, rinsing, drying and effortfully moving their around. Everyone's working really hard, trying to get all the dirt off their chairs. It's quite a scene! When I saw the teacher, I commented: "What a bunch of convenient, cheap labor you have!" She responded, "No, they learn to take care of their own things. We do this every Friday." When I saw the other teacher, I commented: "Your little ones are not just cheap labor, they are free of cost and still work happily!" Again, she looked a little offended and said the kids like it, and it's a good habit for them to wash their own belongings.

I left feeling misunderstood. My well-meaning comment was definitely taken wrongly! As far as I am concerned, it's so cute and a great activity. Of course they are not going to use the kids as cheap labor! Can they possibly think that I think they are exploiting the children? It's hard to believe...

Oh well, this is Humor and Culture 101. I learned a lesson. Where did my Taiwanese instinct go?

Noah's bike & Ben's bittermelon-eating

We were joking about how Noah must be the only kid who self-propels to his kindergarten everyday. This observation may indeed be true, as Noah rides his new bike to school every morning, locks it by the front gate, and bikes home at dusk. Our family must present quite an unique scene on the university campus: a Caucasian man, two light-haired boys, one riding confidently and briskly on a bike and the other on a trike pushed by a parent, and me, the only 'normal'-looking one. This bike's been quite a hit and has enabled us not to use our car as frequently.

On a separate post, I am going to write about the faculty cafeteria downstairs, where we eat at least 50% of our meals. But for now, I want to show you a very unique moment taken place last night at our cafeteria: A toddler eating bittermelon enthusiastically. As you know, "kugua" is slightly bitter, and even some adults find it to be an aquired taste. But to our great surprise, Ben loves it in the soup. He downed a whole bowl of kugua-rib soup by himself.

map craze, space fantasy, dancing demo

A few shots showing our recent activities. Noah's been fantasizing the outer space. He reads these few books about landing on the moon, the space shuttle and rocket ships, and the planets. He told me that when he and Ben grow up, he'll buy a space shuttle so we can all go to the outer space. Wouldn't that be fun for a trip!

My Mom got two gigantic maps and they're currently the only decorative/educational pieces on our walls. But they are a huge hit with the boys! The two of them talk to each other about what's on the maps all the time. While Noah observes more sophisticated pictures, Ben keeps his focus on animals, boats, and planes.

Finally, the last picture is taken from a morning exercise session at the kindergarten, where different classes get to take turns going up to demonstrate the various dances. As Noah (in orange) gets up there, he forgets his main task of dancing and started enthusiastically waving at his buddies like a celebrity!

Linguistic development

It shouldn't surprise us how 4-year-olds pick up language, but still I just love hearing Noah speaking Chinese. Since our arrival, he's talking more and more Chinese everyday. I would say now he's comfortable expressing himself without the help of English. What amuses me is how colloquial he sounds, his choice of particles particularly Taiwanese-sounding (such as "ah" and "la" and "oh" at the end of sentence)and how he produces long sentences sometimes using English grammar. Yes, English is still his primary language in that his grammar and lexicon are more sophisticated, and that's why his Chinese sounds so cute to me :) We were in Lungtan with my parents (Paul's in the US this week). With our Chinese-speaking friends, Noah spoke exclusively in Chinese... I know he wouldn't do it with me, so I stayed quiet and just listened to him go.

Likewise, Ben's linguistic ability is all of a sudden exploding. He cannot stop talking and commenting on things around him: everything known to him has to be labeled: big car, small smoke, blue fish, mama pour (milk), little brother's (he calls himself "didi", quite amusingly) bike... With only two or three words at a time, he can be quite bossy! He imitates everyone's speech, including Noah's. And Noah's taking on the teacherly role of teaching Ben manners. I heard them conversing yesterday, as Noah instructed Ben to say "please" and "xiexie" ("thank you"). Ben mastered "PEEEAAAS" for please, but at first no "xiexie". After 8 or 9 attempts to get him to say "xiexie"), Noah gave up in frustration: "Mama, he just won't say it!" Then, after a minute or two, Ben came running over, exclaiming: "xiexie, xiexie, xiexie!" He won't stop!

How do you not love children for their amazing ability with language?

In defense of mama

Secretly, I am happy to report a new 'problem' of Noah's: He's extremely uncomfortable with any discord between Paul and me, and interestingly, he ALWAYS sides with me! Before Paul even raises his voice much, you'd hear Noah shouting, "Daddy, don't talk like that to Mama! She didn't mean it. Daddy, Mama's good!"

This tendency can be really hilarious--especialy to me-- sometimes. Of course, it's funny for Paul only very occasionally. He gets pretty aggrevated by it for the most part, quite understandably. This morning, Paul found that the back door was left open by me by mistake, and he was about to tell me, without raising his voice. He starts with, "Syl! The door is not locked. Oh I see- YOU are the reason..." Before continuing, he realized that Noah was sitting by me, so he turned to a bare whisper right away. But, the poor guy didn't even get to whisper the rest of his sentence before Noah steps in: "Baba, mama is NOT the reason!"

This sentence doesn't even make sense, as he doesn't have a clue what we were talking about. The reason for what? But, he still had to jump in and save me.

I guess kids don't like confrontations among adults, and he's found a way to assert his power in this process. Luckily, I am the victim and Paul the antagonist!

Windy City!

It's been quite windy in Hsinchu--no wonder it's named Taiwan's Windy City!

What we found really funny as a clear cultural difference is how fearful of chill/wind Taiwanese people are. While we still consider it to be summer weather (the temperature is still in the upper 70s and 80s during mid-day), people are quick to put on jackets and even multiple layers. Almost everyone you see on campus either wears an all-zipped-up jacket or carries one with them. This is especially true with moped drivers who has to endure the wind directly.

We must seem unfit as careful parents by letting our little guys be exposed to the wind!

The baby lizard

A baby lizard has been hanging around outside our apartment the last few days, and he seems to have become Noah's friend. Today he jumped onto Noah and we caught this cute picture.

Some cute pics of the kids

Martyrs' Shrine, Taipei

Two weeks ago, on our way to Noah's Chinese doctor, we decided to stop by the Martyr's Shrine (Zhong Lie Ci) in Yuanshan, Taipei. I vaguely remember seeing the still-to-the-point-of-unreal military police in front. I wanted to show them to Noah.

Unfortunately, I didn't have time to explain to him that they are real people. I only said that they are trained to be completely still and when they march, it's very impressive. When we got to the front gate, upon observing the unmoving guard, Noah moved to touched his shoe!! The guard shook his rifle and a plain-cloth office intervened. We were very embarrassed and Noah stunned.

We were very lucky to be there in time for the impressive changing of the guards. We, along with groups of Japanese tourists, marched up and down with the soldiers and watched them do their salutes, tricks with their rifles, and little subtle motions to adjust their positions. Noah found it fascinating, though it's a little hard to explain why they have to be completely machine-like.

You know what the biggest irony is? I find that it's the large groups of Japanese tourists present at the shrine. I think most of the martyrs entombed there died during the two World Wars. ..