It's those little things

All beings want to be happy. All beings want to feel loved. No one wants to suffer. Everyone wants to be happy. Important ideas in Buddhist spiritual practice, though sometimes they are not so easy to grasp.

Each of my boys reminded me of what makes me happy in the simplest but profound sense. Tonight, on the way from the bathroom to bedroom, wet and covered with a bath towel, Noah suddenly asked me, "So, mama, how did you learn English?" This seeming random question felt so warm and sincere. I felt cared for and that he is curious about me. We went on to talk about how I learned a little bit of it as a teenager (I imitated what I must have sounded like at 15 and he thought that was pretty hilarious.)

As kind of a routine, after being tucked in bed, they requested that I sang a song. Those teenage years spent at church and Catholic summer camps had the biggest impact on me when it comes to picking random songs to sing. I picked the Chinese version of "Peace is flowing like a river", with multiple verses. At the end, Ben said gently, touching my hand, "Mommy, I like your voice." This simple little compliment can melt away anyone's (especially mommies) heart.

These are little unexpected and unintentional moments they make a parent, or any being, experience the deepest and fullest of joy. I think this is true happiness that every being wants.

My Year of the Ox mission: Chou mama's Chinese School

Of all skills and talents useful for parenting, discipline is not my strength. I've known this about myself for quite some time. Reward charts get started, and never carried out for long. Family photos and videos are about 4 years overdue for being organized. Noah's school papers get piled up without any filing system, so I constantly worry that I may have missed something.

Well, in spite of my lack of organization and discipline, we've made a decision to start "home schooling". Don't worry, not your real deal, just the Chinese school portion. I bet you all are anxious to see whether I can carry out this mission successfully.

And don't forget, for years I was a Chinese instructor, at various levels, from preschoolers, elementary-schoolers, high-schoolers all the way to college students and adults. And I have a Master's in applied linguistics and language education. (One thing I can't get over is that I could have been Malia Obama's teacher now if I didn't quit Sidwell! Bummer! Wouldn't it be the coolest thing to have a parent-teacher conference with the Obamas!?)

I know exactly where the kids are at in their Chinese proficiency. And as much as I admire their Chinese teachers' dedication and hardwork, I find a large room for improvement, which, of course, I will never voice given that I am not volunteering there. Although Noah's spoken Chinese is pretty good, he really dislikes going to Chinese School on Sundays, mostly because of its rote learning style and his being a homebody. Ben, on the other hand, enjoys the teacher-centered classroom, but his classmates are mostly non-native Chinese speakers, many of whom have never been exposed to the language prior to coming to this school. Finally, having the obligatory Sunday afternoon program makes the entire day hard to use for fun or rejuvenation. And that makes the weekend hardly relaxing before another week begins.

For all those reasons, I made up my mind, with Paul's support, to devise a home-school curriculum that involves story-telling and discussions, nursery rhymes and songs, games, and a little bit introduction to pinyin and/or zhuyin (still debating on the phonetic symbols to use). I want to devote 2 hours a week, the same time as their current Chinese school, to this class, and offer some kind of rewards for good learning behavior. Still trying to figure out an interesting and inexpensive incentive--it's hard with these guys as they seem not to be easily tempted by food or toys.

We plan to formally begin our home Chinese School next Sunday. What I need is discipline to keep up the curriculum and make progress. Will keep you updated on this new project.

President Obama's inauguration

Our family took part in this beautiful, historic day in DC, watching from the Reflecting Pools by the Lincoln Memorial as President Obama was sworn into office. It was cold but sunny, and really emotional for a new American like me to be together with such a large, excited but somber crowd. During President Obama's speech, it was extremely powerful to experience the complete silence amidst such a huge crowd. I must admit I've listened to the address at least five times by now. I can't have enough of him!



Above, a Bush balloon ready to be taken down! By Memorial Bridge, behind Lincoln Memorial.
Below, more view of Porta Potties!
On the bus home, Ben collapsed...

An experience to be had

If the main purpose of attending a Sunday service (in whatever religious organization) is to renew your spiritual life and to be awakened to the Divine's calling, a song-filled, raucous Sunday morning at the Glide Memorial Church in downtown SF is sure to deliver. (well, up to now, I sound like a food critic of the Washington Post... but bear with me)

The Glide Methodist Church is located immediately across the street to the luxurious Hilton where Paul and I were staying. Having seen the long lines of homeless men and women on the sidewalk awaiting a bed, a meal, or medical care, I was curious about this institution (I had heard about it when the director of SF homeless housing came to spoke with our seminar at Berkeley). I attended the 9am service, with the primary intention to hear some great gospel music. It turned out to be a lot more than that. The fact that ushers repeatedly passed out Kleenex should tell you something about the effect of the music, sermon, photo slides, and the powerful message on unity, compassion, love, social justice, and the power of forgiveness. Blacks, Whites, Asians, old, young, poor, rich--everyone was there, and found themselves to belong. I would recommend anyone living the Bay Area or visiting the city of SF (where I left my heart...) to attend a service there. Just the music alone will satisfy your heart.

BTW, it was a perfect, four-day trip to CA... I am renewed and ready to face the multitude of stressful projects and demands.

Guess what are those in front of Noah?

If you want the answer, and won't get too grossed out... Read on.


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The poor guy had THREE baby teeth extracted all at once! They were still had their long roots! I have to say I am amazed by how brave he was, given that the shots must have been quite painful. So now, big teeth, feel free to roam and grow! We've made space for you all!

ps. Picture taken right after dinner. Sorry--he should have wiped his mouth..

Ice skating

Paul and I admittedly have no talent on the ice, so we wait until family coming in town to expose the kids ice-skating. My cousin Wayne is in town on Saturday, and with his sister Lin, they made a great pair of coaches. In the Sculpture Garden next to National Gallery of Art, Ben had a great first experience, while Noah brushed up on some basics.

Noah's sixth year old checkup

We are thankful for a healthy six-year-old--Noah had his checkup today. Besides all the fast-growing permanent teeth threatening his unmoving baby teeth, he's problem-free and thriving! What's funny is that he is 45 pounds and 45 inches tall now. That doesn't happen easily!

The MPH year changed my first impressions on vaccinations. How lucky we are to have all these effective vaccines against terrible diseases--there are many much more needy and vulnerable children that are unable to get basic preventive care. The unpleasantness of a shot does not even warrant a wink now! (Well, when I was little I had a phobia for needle. Noah and Ben enjoyed hearing the stories of their mama escaping the shots by running outside of the hospital to hide, only to be chased down by the nurses and mama, causing a huge embarrassing scene!)

The Huxtables speak English?

Back in my teenage years, my favorite Saturday afternoon activity was watching The Cosby Show. All cuddled up in the living room floor, we would watch the shows every week, a rare get-away from studying (which is pretty much all we were supposed to do). I felt like I knew the entire family!

Well, it turned out that they all spoke English! I just watched it for the first time in ages, and it was odd to hear them not speaking Chinese, as they used to! Well, I guess the dubbing really worked well! Anyway, watching it again brought back memories of adolescence, when everything in the show resembled something American, and yet their speaking Chinese seemed completely natural!