An unneccesary obsession or?

During the packing process, I found something very interesting about myself, and I believe those reading this post will be clearly divided into two camps. And I wonder if the two sides correlate at all with ethnicity, politics, or whatever else.

Here's what it is: I simply cannot throw away things/food!! It's really painful for me to toss a half a bag of frozen peas, a shampoo bottle with a quarter left, or even an empty preserve jar! Over the past two weeks of packing, I keep running into this situation, and every time, I hear two voices in my head, "Sylvia, just toss it! You are wasting time and herding things to make life more complicated than necessary!" Then I hear, "It's still useful/good, why waste nature's resources and money? 惜福 (Xifu, roughly translated as "treasure your fortune")"

I am so torn that it's almost funny to me. My inclination is to save everything. In fact, I did pretty well planning our meals around our move to maximize the chance of using up everything. I also gave away pantry items to neighbors. I think about my mom, my aunt, and many others who would definitely feel the same pain, if not sharper pain, when they see some good things or food being thrown out.

Why this pain? Is it just an obsession or a worthwhile virtue? It being such a personal, intuitive decision, I know it's much related to our upbringing. This reminds me of the "recyclying maniac grandmas" I heard about in Taipei:

Apparently, Taipei has a superb city-wide recycling and composting program. This has gotten many housewives very busy lately. I heard on two seperate occasions about some friends' mother/grandmother practically altering their lives to perform a thorough recyclying job. This doesn't just entail getting up at 6am to catch the recyclying truck. One friend who was visiting her mother wanted to find some food to eat in the freezer, and found bags and bags of what seemed to be food. She thought they were cooked dishes, and after some thawing, they turned out to all be "compostable goods"!! Yucky indeed.

This obsession with composting everything compostable seems to go hand-in-hand with the traditional Chiense value of not wasting ANYTHING, so it gets taken up very well by traditional housewives. And boy, when they are retired and have all the time and energy on this matter, they surely take it to the extreme.

Please let me know how you feel about this topic. I am curious.

California, here we come!

As of last night, we are officially moved out of our home in Arlington. There were a few stressful days getting everything ready, but everything went smoothly and we are safely relocated to Belmont, CA for the summer. Noah's been so excited about all the changes and asked at least 5 times a day, "When are we going to CA?" Finally, yesterday morning, when he woke up and found out today is the day, and we leave after lunch, he told me that he wanted to have lunch right away (skipping breakfast and all morning). It was hard getting him to pass those six hours before heading to Dulles Airport!

We were so relieved that the boys did well on the flight. Ben was so excited he was giddy and won't stop laughing for two hours. Noah, being such an airplane and Jetblue enthusiast, was as perfect as can be throughout the six hours. I don't understand how how can be so devilish at one moment and so perfect at another!

In the next two months, we'll work some, play some (a planned camping trip and lots of family/friends to see). The parks, beaches, farmers' markets are great and the weather is, of course, gorgious, so it'll be easy to keep the kids happy and occupied. I'll update on our CA time soon!

A moment I will never forget

Stepping out of a crowded, overheated plane, I dragged my blistered feet and a heavy suitcase across the airport terminal, dreading the upcoming hour of work (on my post-doc application, intense for a tired me) before Paul would show up with the kids, I walked out of the passenger area, and a little kid ran briskly towards me in front of my eyes, "Mama!!" I jumped to the ground, embraced my sweet Noah, and in front of my eyess is a smily Ben in the stroller looking at me.

The way my three boys surprised me... I will never forget the sweet moment.

Montreal trip

This is my first time leaving the kids and Paul for an out-of-town weekend trip, and I have to say I had the greatest time!! The time alone traveling was refreshing... walking around town, people-watching, window-shopping, listening to people conversing in French and English, just taking in the charm of the city. I had forgotten how wonderful it is to travel to a new place. And every time I made a wrong turn, a feeling of relief came to me as I realized that I had no stroller to push, no naps to worry about, and no kids to entertain! Just keep on walking and rest whenver you wish to!

No no, please don't misunderstand me- I am not so selfish as to being obsessed with my own feelings. I did feel quite guilty making Paul watch the kids for three days! I know how exhausting it is. He did great though, packing the weekend with activities (the farm, the water park, burger place, many playgrounds, the zoo... what an adventurous Dad he is!) I am so impressed with him, as I know not many Dads (or Moms) take 72 hours with two active boys with such calm and ease.

I stayed in the city with Veena and Greg (and two adorable kids); they are Paul's grad-school housemates and friends. Such a lovely family! I really appreciated the way they interact with one another, and want to emulate the way they relate to their kids. I hope Noah and Ben will stay close to us and to each other, and will work towards this goal.

Some things I appreciated about Montreal and Canadian life that I didn't know before:
-First, it's just so much prettier than DC in its architecture and street scenes. Parts of DC, in comparison, feel so federal and rigid.
-Witnessing bilingualism first-hand is fascinating. Most people freely code-switch between the two languages. I realize again the central role of language and language choice in everyday life.
-My sense is that compared to the US, people make less, pay higher taxes, and goods are more expensive, but social servicese such as health care and education is completely free of charge. So for people who don't want to make a fortune and don't desire a lot of material possessions, I think life can be much less stressful. Now, I hear a socialist talking here. Growing up in Taiwan and hearing all the negativities of socialism, this is a change of perspective for sure.
-There's something much more European about the city, and maybe I am romanticizing it (especially given that I am there at its best season.. I am sure Jan. wouldn't be as romantic!) but I like the European-ness.
-The red-light district near the hotel (with at least 30 sex shops on the street!) does not feel threatening or ugly or dirty. In other words, I sensed that different types of people (class, race, culture..) co-exist a little more peacefully than in the US. Just think about how completely segregated DC and many urban cities are.

Well, just some impressions. Oh, I realized that I haven't even mentioned why I went to Montreal in the first place! You can see what a pseudo academic I am! I did present a paper at a conference, and it went really well. See Sylvia-the-professional picture for proof below. (ps. Paul commented that the photo is so ironic: with end-of-life in the background, I am holding a big big smile. What kind of human am I? Well, I think the smile comes from nervousness, as it was seconds before I began my Powerpoint presentation).

In answer to Paul's question

I was complaining to Paul that I just can't write. Everything I try to capture ends up sounding mundane and nothing is funny. I can't transfer my sense of humor onto the written screen. He then asked me, "when you think of your day today, how did you think about it and how did it feel being you?"

Hmm... never thought about it really. My immediate answer is, I feel like a functioning machine on a long and complicated conveyer belt, with twists and turns and different buttons and mechanisms that goes on and off of me as I move through this complex system. The mommy hat, the driver's seatbelt, the friendly smile, the cleaner-upper which makes a turn into the short-order cook,... the machine doesn't have a pause button all day. It's loud, busy, competently doing its job without delay.

Now comes the analysis of this analogy, which I'll leave unrevealed. Maybe you, my friend, can help me figure it out.

National Public Radio and me

Both mornings this weekend, I had reasons for errands that led to driving in the car. What a pleasure to spend some solitary time in the car, cruising the traffic-free roads. Listened to a great NPR program, Speaking of Faith, in which I heard about the long tradition of doubt in many faiths. Today, in many faith traditions, the idea of doubt is not mentioned and not accepted. But if you look back to many important theologians and philosopher within Christianity (e.g. St. Augustine), doubt was part of being spiritual and being human. It's not seperated like atheists and the religious-minded are seperated in today's society.

Anyway, the point I want to make is how much I have unconsciously become a NPR fan. I don't drive much, but the 15 minutes here and there have added up to a great familiarity with all the shows, the hosts, and the depth and quality of the programs and the research going into them.
I respect NPR's role in educating people and in particular, encouraging listeners to think, rather than being spoon-fed (often biased) information.

One thing I always regret is not having developed a good habit of reading. Unlike Paul, reading is effortful and work for me (unless, as you know, if I am reading a cookbook! The more the merrier!) But listening to the radio is much less effort but often an enriching experience.

I love yoga!

Had a great class yesterday. I was challenged with the peacock pose and had trouble getting into the full pose, so after I came home I got Paul to spot me. Still didn't quite work, but this really shows that there's something funny about yoga: I really love being challenged, and the funny thing is that I don't usually see myself this way. Yoga has made me see a side of myself that I didn't know before. This is one of the best things besides having the kids that happened to me since being pregnant. (It was prenatal yoga four years ago that got me hooked on it!)

For example, all through life, I never felt comfortable with any exercise, it always seems like effort and no fun. With yoga, though, I feel very good about the progress I make, and actually enjoy all the asanas even though holding some of the poses is a bit painful. Similarly, I always felt chubby and flabby (those who remember me from childhood will know what I am talking about!), but yoga has taught me how much control I actually have on my body, in my postures, in controlling and toning my muscles, enhancing flexibility and stamina, etc.

Just Googled Hsinchu and yoga, and found lots of links, so I know I should be able to find a studio to continue my practice with a teacher. I have realized that a weekly group setting really helps deepen my practice and keep me challenged. It'll be interesting to see if yoga practice in Taiwan is different from the US, what kind of people are doing it, what styles are popular, etc. I'll have to report on that in the fall. Stay tuned. I have an inkling it'll be an interesting sociocultural comparison.

Back to the peacock pose... It's only been a short while since I learned to comfortably kick up to a headstand, so I'll make peacock the next challenge. It's nice to have tiny challenges everyday and gradually work towards a goal. Then once you witness the change in your ability, you feel so good.

Benjamin's tear duct surgery

The tear duct surgery went smoothly on Friday morning, and needless to say we are very relieved. The day before the surgery, Paul and I both almost chickened out. We kept resisting using his cough and runny nose (from a minor cold) as an excuse to call off the surgery. We were torn between doing the procedure or not, as there are always risks associated with a surgery and especially general anesthesia, plus it wasn't clear if the probing and irrigation would actually help him from getting recurrent eye infections. Honestly, I was so torn that I just didn't want to be the one making a decision, so I deferred to Paul, who hesitantly decided that, since we had made a decision to go with it, we shouldn't let last-minute fear change our mind.

Neither of us slept much the night before. I even dreamed that it was me who had to go through the surgery and Ben was going to simply sit on my lap. We were also dreading the logistics of it--waking up a hungry, tired kid (he had to fast from midnight on with no water or food) and having to distract him for two hours while he continues to demand for 'neinei' (milk).

Ben did great before the surgery though. He even taught the OR nurses a Chinese word as we waited ('yu' for fish). When we had to change him into a kid-size hospital gown, it was a little weird and scary. I kept thinking of all those sick kids for whom this is common place, how sad it would be for the parents... Anyway, the worst part for Paul and me was the 40-minute time spent in the wait room. You imagine your little boy lying on a table with eyes and nose being poked at and cut into! It was a long 40 minutes.

We were led to him right after the procedure, and Ben was groggy, disoriented, and crying constantly, with blood coming out of his nose and tinted tears. But within 30 mintes he was back to himself, still groggy but I knew he was okay.

Let's hope this helps the little guy, and we don't have to keep giving antibiotic drops while in Taiwan. We are lucky to have this option (though I must say it's incredibly expensive for a fairly straightfoward procedure; I bet this is the most expensive country in the world for a minor surgery!)

Thanks to Mama who helped watch Noah while we go and played and cared for Ben Ben as he recovered. She had a great and super productive week here, constantly charmed by the two boys. It's always fun but exhausting for the grandmothers here!