In defense of mama

Secretly, I am happy to report a new 'problem' of Noah's: He's extremely uncomfortable with any discord between Paul and me, and interestingly, he ALWAYS sides with me! Before Paul even raises his voice much, you'd hear Noah shouting, "Daddy, don't talk like that to Mama! She didn't mean it. Daddy, Mama's good!"

This tendency can be really hilarious--especialy to me-- sometimes. Of course, it's funny for Paul only very occasionally. He gets pretty aggrevated by it for the most part, quite understandably. This morning, Paul found that the back door was left open by me by mistake, and he was about to tell me, without raising his voice. He starts with, "Syl! The door is not locked. Oh I see- YOU are the reason..." Before continuing, he realized that Noah was sitting by me, so he turned to a bare whisper right away. But, the poor guy didn't even get to whisper the rest of his sentence before Noah steps in: "Baba, mama is NOT the reason!"

This sentence doesn't even make sense, as he doesn't have a clue what we were talking about. The reason for what? But, he still had to jump in and save me.

I guess kids don't like confrontations among adults, and he's found a way to assert his power in this process. Luckily, I am the victim and Paul the antagonist!

Windy City!

It's been quite windy in Hsinchu--no wonder it's named Taiwan's Windy City!

What we found really funny as a clear cultural difference is how fearful of chill/wind Taiwanese people are. While we still consider it to be summer weather (the temperature is still in the upper 70s and 80s during mid-day), people are quick to put on jackets and even multiple layers. Almost everyone you see on campus either wears an all-zipped-up jacket or carries one with them. This is especially true with moped drivers who has to endure the wind directly.

We must seem unfit as careful parents by letting our little guys be exposed to the wind!

The baby lizard

A baby lizard has been hanging around outside our apartment the last few days, and he seems to have become Noah's friend. Today he jumped onto Noah and we caught this cute picture.

Some cute pics of the kids

Martyrs' Shrine, Taipei

Two weeks ago, on our way to Noah's Chinese doctor, we decided to stop by the Martyr's Shrine (Zhong Lie Ci) in Yuanshan, Taipei. I vaguely remember seeing the still-to-the-point-of-unreal military police in front. I wanted to show them to Noah.

Unfortunately, I didn't have time to explain to him that they are real people. I only said that they are trained to be completely still and when they march, it's very impressive. When we got to the front gate, upon observing the unmoving guard, Noah moved to touched his shoe!! The guard shook his rifle and a plain-cloth office intervened. We were very embarrassed and Noah stunned.

We were very lucky to be there in time for the impressive changing of the guards. We, along with groups of Japanese tourists, marched up and down with the soldiers and watched them do their salutes, tricks with their rifles, and little subtle motions to adjust their positions. Noah found it fascinating, though it's a little hard to explain why they have to be completely machine-like.

You know what the biggest irony is? I find that it's the large groups of Japanese tourists present at the shrine. I think most of the martyrs entombed there died during the two World Wars. ..

Food updates

We haven't talked about our culinary adventures for a while! Here are some yummy treats we've had lately. Had a awesome seafood dinner near the Hsinchu Harbor (pictures above show a small fraction of the scrumpteous meal), a great Hakka-Ming Fusion lunch near Lungtan--both treated by my parents' old friends/neighbors--. And for a quick and inexpensive weekday dinner, we like to go right across campus for steamed dumplings (see pictures) and noodles at a wonderful little eatery.

Noah's girlfriends

We never know Noah had such "Nu-ren-yuan"--a group of girls go crazy over this guy! The teacher told us that whenever it's time to hold a partner's hand to go outside, girls fight over Noah's hands! They all want to sit with him too. Today Noah told me, in exactly his words: "So much girls in my school love me so they all want to hold my hand." I wonder if it's his because of his exotic features. Anyway, it's kind of funny. This never happened before.

No picky eaters allowed here

If there is one obvious difference between Noah's current school and Hoya Kids (Georgetown), it would be the rules for food consumption. This may be especially interesting to those with little children: Basically, the rule for all children here is-- you have to finish everything in your bowl. This rule applies at am snack, lunch, and pm snack. No exceptions. When a kid cannot finish or is picky about some particular item in their bowl, he/she simply has to sit there until they lick the bowl clean. I have seen this little girl (her mom claims she's always been picky and they fight over eating everyday) who wouldn't eat silky melon (si-gua, a Chinese vegetable) holding her bowl and spoon at 4:30pm at the playground, whimpering because she still couldn't swallow the melon after four hours. It was really sad watching her. She broke down when her mom showed up.

I am sure all of you are thinking, this is just absurd. Don't we all have food that we don't eat? Initially, I felt exactly this way. Think about this: they offer all sorts of food at school. What if some kids just cannot stand miso? papaya? stringy vegetable? turnip? fish cake? taro? mushroom? etc.. This is cruel and simply wrong! I secretly felt a sense of relief that Noah's naturally a good eater. If he wasn't, this adjustment would simply be impossible, and he would be crying multiple times during the day. Ben, for example, would have a much harder time with this rule.

After six weeks, I am amazed to find that most kids do accept this rule and learn to take whatever they are given. (They usually start with very a small amount and are allowed to get seconds). Most days, kids eat everything up without complaint. I am 100% certain that they are not this good with food at home, but this does give them a chance to be easy-going with what they are given. How much everlasting damage this may do to a few of them I don't know...

Thinking back to Hoya Kids. It was the opposite. Nobody is ever forced to eat anything. Snack is encouraged but if you don't want to eat it, it's fine. During lunch, when time is up, kids go to the garbage and throw away anything they didn't finish. One parent of a 20-month-old student said once that her son's favorite activity at school is "throw it away", i.e. picking up the plate and dump it (along with leftover food) right into the garbage. I think to many Taiwanese, this would be considered unethical! You just don't waste food or anything this way, especially you don't teach kids to throw away good food themselves at such a young age.

So I wonder: between the two extremes, is there a balance point? How important is it to teach (sometimes conflicting) values such as: 1) appreciating the gift of food, 2) being easy-going with choices, 3) learning to listen to your taste and discern when to stop, 4) not being wasteful, 5) appreciating the joy of eating, not the obligation of eating, 6) obedience, 7) free choice... The list goes on, as I believe much learning goes on at the dinner table. What do you all think?

More on yoga

I have been subjecting myself to cruel and sweaty weekly torture sessions. Maybe there's a sadomasochist element in this, but strangely I do enjoy these classes.

The owner teaches the advanced-level classes. My first class, which I described to you last time, was taught by her. Actually, the second class I took with her was so discouraging that it actually hurt my ego. Yah yah, I know, you are not supposed to be competitive in yoga, but isn't it human nature? You get to observe your mind and emotions through this process. It's not too un-yogic in this way.

Basically, I could not get into any full poses. Yet, she still comes around to every student and watches you and guides you to reach your fullest potential. So even though you have given up in your heart, when she walks by you and smiles at you, you have no choice by trying it again. She then adjusts you to deeper bends and twists and stretches, after which, you usually collapse, and she would either prevents you from a full fall--which means you embarrassingly collapse right into her arms-- or she would lovingly help pick you up from the floor. In either case, you are sweating profusely and dreaming for the coming of savasana, final relaxation.

After that night, I decided to give up on this teacher. I went back to the beginner-level class. It was difficult, but manageable. Then, last week, while waiting for my beginner-level class, I ran into this teacher who was sitting outside observing the other teacher's class. She sat me down and asked me why I haven't been to her classes. She asked me to tell her how her classes compared with my American yoga classes and with the beginner-level class, how I felt, what was difficult, etc. She's obvious a very devoted yogi and teacher, who very genuinely wants to know how her students feel. Anyway, I had to confess that I was discouraged and didn't think I could meet her challenges. She didn't say much but asked many questions about my practice. That day, the beginner class was not that challenging, so last night, I got my courage up and decided to take up the advanced classes again.

This was the best two-hour class I have ever had. (Can you believe she went over the class time by almost an hour? I didn't get on my bus until 10:10pm!) I wasn't as scared, and didn't feel as self-conscious when I couldn't do something. I found myself quite sensitive to her adjustment and with help, I was able to do more than I thought was possible. From her perspective, yoga practices that don't hurt have no point. Every muscle needs go through the process of hurting in order to reach the desired effect of improved health. This is a message I don't hear often among American yoga practitioners, who seems to stress relaxation, comfort-seeking, and healthy and peaceful living. I am not sure what I think about all this, but I do know that so long as I don't get injured, it is nice to challenge myself to the next level through yoga asanas.

I was so sweaty that I was dripping by the end. Though exhausted and shaking at the end, it felt great. I guess I'll suffer again when the muscles start aching tomorrow.

How about work?

I realized that we mainly report on our adventures, perhaps giving the impression that we spend our weeks exploring and taking it easy. I have to clarify that that's not true at all. Normally, during the weekdays, Paul spends his days at his office (which he shares with a very silent--almost invisible--history professor), working on various projects including this book on modality. He meets with two colleagues regularly. As for me, I watch Benjamin about two days of the week, and when my Mom comes to watch him, I go off to work on a paper, or teach on Wed. and Thursday mornings. We meet at Noah's school altogether at around 5pm-ish and the boys go crazy and dirty on the playgrounds for about half an hour. Then comes the best part of the day: okay, where shall we eat tonight?

As for my teaching... Hmm, my initial positive impression of the respectful and obedient students remained true, but I am getting increasingly frustrated at their lack of responses or any opinion at all. This is especially true with the science/engineering majors. I simply cannot get a word out of them! Do you think I look scary? I don't think so, but even when I call on them, there's often a dead silence with the student looking down at his book. Some of them cannot even form a question. I don't think it's a matter of English ability, as they obviously excelled in English to be in this advanced class. So this is the biggest challenge so far--try to open them up and help think do some thinking.

Greenworld Farm and "Clear Springs"

We had an adventure filled day today! Discovered a wonderful ecological farm called "Greenworld" just 30 minutes away in a mountain valley. Very impressive display of plants, birds, butterflies, raptiles, etc. Noah was enthralled by the animal show (mainly macaws) and Ben particularly loved the fish in the lily pond and the swans. Paul was happy to find such an organized and well-kept tour sight that really paid attention to ecology. We would definitely come back again.

After the farm, we were going to to the cold springs nearby, but both boys fell fast asleep in the car, so Paul and I decided to be adventurous and head towards Qingquan ("Clear Springs") which is way into the mountains. I have fond memories from reading about this mountain place in a book by one of my favorite writiers, San-mao. And Paul just loves exploring mountain roads. So after 1 hour of bumpy and windy ride and a dark rocky tunnel, we found ourselves in Qingquan's hot springs.. Yes, hot springs again, but this time, no accidents! We had a wonderful hour soaking in the public baths.

Though the scenary was beautiful, the place is not as well-kept and you can tell that all the aborigines still living nearby are very poor. Besides, in 2004, this place suffered from a severe typhoon, in which many lives were lost. I was sad to see all the aborigines sitting around along the road, smoking, chewing betel nut, either just chatting or selling some local fruits (persimmons and fire dragon fruit). There was garbage-burning, which suggested that trash services are not provided in this remote town. All in all, the standard of living is clearly low, and I don't know how much hope the aborigines see in their future.

Before leaving, I requested a trip to the Catholic church up on the cliff, as I have read much about this church, the priest (Fr. Martinson, a great friend of writier San-mao), and many stories surrounding the church community. The chapel immediately made me feel at home. Simple, yet festive, the wall paintings blend in aboriginal art and folklore. From the activities on the adjacent basketball court and the people walking by, you can tell this is a social and perhaps spiritual center for the local community, but in a gentle and non-imposing way. Once here, it's easy to fantasize about the lives of Western missionaries in remote parts of the world.

By the way, you can click on the pictures for a bigger view.

Pictures: Mid-Autumn Festival

Today is Mid-Autumn Festival, a major holiday. Here are some pics from this morning on the basketball court about 100 yards from our front door. We visit this basketball court many mornings for ball throwing and electric car driving. In the evenings, it's packed with students, and sometimes quite noisy, until the lights go out around 10.

Not much like Autumn, if you ask me (Paul), but a pretty nice day nonetheless.

This evening we're having a picnic by one of the campus lakes with some of the single physics faculty members we've met, and a few of their family and friends. No kao rou (roast meat) which is what everyone thinks we're making. Rather, sushi, cool pasta, some veggies, and fruit.

Our new fish tank

We got the boys a fish tank, and it's a great hit. Every day they spend many minutes observing the fish, and Noah has theories about their behavior. For example, "Pinkie" chases the other guppies toward the bottom of the tank kind of agressively, if you ask me. But Noah thinks that Pinkie is making sure that the others don't jump out.

Which brings us to more of the story. The day after we got the tank, two fish were missing. We later found one on the floor - the water level was too high, and he was able to jump out (and did). The orange one in the picture was the victim. The other - the less popular "Garbage Fish", i.e. a loach - was never found. We were unsure whether to tell Noah about it, even whether he would notice, but he did notice. When we said that we think maybe he jumped out, Noah's eyes filled with tears, and he said "No, no, no he's just hiding." He made these very reassuring gestures with his hands that were so cute. He also applied logic. "Did you see him on the floor?" We couldn't say yes at this point. "So if he's not on the floor, he might be in the tank." For a dad working on a book on modality, this had to make me smile.

Later that evening, he adjusted to the truth, and said he thinks that the fish probably did jump out. By that point he'd also figured out that a dead fish was a good argument for another trip to the fish store. So we went back a day or two later and got three more fish. (One was a freebie. The fish store A-yi loves Ben, so threw in a pink guppie for nothing.)

So now we have Pinkie, Stripey, Little Green, Little Grey, Big Blue (sometimes called Little
Blue), Mamie (sounds like the way Ben says "Lambie", Noah's stuffed lamb), and Nemo.