More on yoga

I have been subjecting myself to cruel and sweaty weekly torture sessions. Maybe there's a sadomasochist element in this, but strangely I do enjoy these classes.

The owner teaches the advanced-level classes. My first class, which I described to you last time, was taught by her. Actually, the second class I took with her was so discouraging that it actually hurt my ego. Yah yah, I know, you are not supposed to be competitive in yoga, but isn't it human nature? You get to observe your mind and emotions through this process. It's not too un-yogic in this way.

Basically, I could not get into any full poses. Yet, she still comes around to every student and watches you and guides you to reach your fullest potential. So even though you have given up in your heart, when she walks by you and smiles at you, you have no choice by trying it again. She then adjusts you to deeper bends and twists and stretches, after which, you usually collapse, and she would either prevents you from a full fall--which means you embarrassingly collapse right into her arms-- or she would lovingly help pick you up from the floor. In either case, you are sweating profusely and dreaming for the coming of savasana, final relaxation.

After that night, I decided to give up on this teacher. I went back to the beginner-level class. It was difficult, but manageable. Then, last week, while waiting for my beginner-level class, I ran into this teacher who was sitting outside observing the other teacher's class. She sat me down and asked me why I haven't been to her classes. She asked me to tell her how her classes compared with my American yoga classes and with the beginner-level class, how I felt, what was difficult, etc. She's obvious a very devoted yogi and teacher, who very genuinely wants to know how her students feel. Anyway, I had to confess that I was discouraged and didn't think I could meet her challenges. She didn't say much but asked many questions about my practice. That day, the beginner class was not that challenging, so last night, I got my courage up and decided to take up the advanced classes again.

This was the best two-hour class I have ever had. (Can you believe she went over the class time by almost an hour? I didn't get on my bus until 10:10pm!) I wasn't as scared, and didn't feel as self-conscious when I couldn't do something. I found myself quite sensitive to her adjustment and with help, I was able to do more than I thought was possible. From her perspective, yoga practices that don't hurt have no point. Every muscle needs go through the process of hurting in order to reach the desired effect of improved health. This is a message I don't hear often among American yoga practitioners, who seems to stress relaxation, comfort-seeking, and healthy and peaceful living. I am not sure what I think about all this, but I do know that so long as I don't get injured, it is nice to challenge myself to the next level through yoga asanas.

I was so sweaty that I was dripping by the end. Though exhausted and shaking at the end, it felt great. I guess I'll suffer again when the muscles start aching tomorrow.