Those trembling lips....

Those who know Ben well are familiar with those trembling lips when he feels sad. Well, I think I had pushed my little boy too hard last night....

After dinner, we kept hearing the farts (sorry to non-parents out there for offensive language in this post!) and Ben looked at times preoccupied. I thought to myself: golden potty training opportunity! Since he had successfully peed in the potty a few times, and that he had just gotten out of a warm and clean bath, I didn't give him a diaper and kept putting him the potty. We all cheered on with the Family Motto of the Week, coined by Paul:

Poop it out! Poop it out! WAAAAYY OUT! (The parents would say the first two lines, and all would join with WAAAAYYYY OUT!!!)

He complained a few times: "I don't feel it mommy". Or "My bottom feels too hard." Well--wwo prunes (at his request), three different toilets, three unnamed "techniques", several enticing bribes (including a new toy and telephoning the grandparents to report the news), and two good hours later: still no product! I said to Ben, "You should try to go, or you'll end up poopy in bed." He kept on sitting, and sitting, and finally, an hour past his bedtime, I said, "I think we've tried hard enough. Let's put on the diaper and go to bed."

"NO! I want to put on the diaper and go downstairs to play."

"No Ben. It's very late."

Trembling lips.

"Ben-do you want to go down because you want to poopoo?"

Nodding. Teary eyes and trembling lips.

"Ben. It's okay if you poopoo in your diaper. You've tried very hard."

Trying to resist and hold back the tears. Those heartbreaking lips!

"Ben. Are you sad?"

"Yes."

"Are you sad because you tried so hard and couldn't poopoo in the potty?"

Suddenly the little guy completely broke down, looking so sad, burying his head in my chest, crying uncontrollably. I felt so bad for pushing him! I just held him in my arms and got Paul, who's doing work in the basement to come up and comfort him together. Ben just got sadder and sadder, leashing out all the emotions and disappointments towards himself. We kept saying that we are so proud of him for trying. Noah even adds: "Don't worry. You are not 3 yet. When you turn 3, you'll learn, because I learned when I was 3. You can't do it because you are not 3 yet. It's almost there!" He goes on and on like an erudite old man. But at this point, whatever we said only made Ben sadder and in more despair.

I realized that for all this time, when he seems like he couldn't care less about the potty thing, it was all a way of protecting himself as he has no confidence in this matter quite yet. What a lesson for me to learn.

This morning, he woke up hungry, and as we came downstairs, that sad look still remains on his face. I asked him whether he was still sad, he nodded.

So we decided to drop the issue for a while. After all, Noah may be right about the magic age of 3. Let's hope so. But I know that he won't be going to high school in diapers. So big deal!?